What is the best commune in Brussels?
A definitive and entirely partial ranking of Brussels' 19 gemeenten
Brussels is a city of villages. Well technically, it’s a city of municipalities - 19 of them to be precise, ranging from tiny St Josse and Koekelberg to the city-sized (by population) Schaarbeek. Each one is different to the next, for the most part, with its own identity, centre, and its own feeling.
But which one is the best? I mean of course, which one do I think is the best? And what do I mean by best? Well, which one is the most fun to spend time in? Which one has the best bars, the nicest restaurants, the most to do? Have you got a brewery within the boundaries of your commune? Then you’re probably going to rate highly in my ranking. Do you as a commune give out bad vibes, or have I never been to your commune, then it’s probably going to rank pretty low.
I’ve split the candidates up into five self-explanatory categories: the TRASH communes, the MEH communes, the BASICALLY FINE communes, the GOOD communes, and finally the BEST commune. So here, based on a thorough methodology and about half an hour spent thinking about it over lunch, is the definitive ranking of Brussels’ 19 communes.
The Trash Communes
Uccle
Bad vibes all the way down. Proof that politicians with the name Boris are just bad news, and the epitome of Brussels’ village politics tradition. Uccle’s original sin was rejecting a metro extension in the 1960s and 1970s, and they’ve been complaining about the lack of connectivity with the centre ever since. If they could, I bet they wish they’d be annexed into Brabant Wallon. Still though, the Nemo diving complex is cool, and in its defence they have a nice hospital (where my eldest was born), and Bois de la Cambre is nice, I suppose.
The Meh Communes
Auderghem
The Bielefeld of Brussels. If I told you it didn’t exist, you’d probably believe me. What are the vibes? It is a vibeless place. That I had to google to double check whether Delta metro station and the Rood Klooster compound are actually in Auderghem tells you all I need to know (the latter is nice though, so that’s something). Have you ever gone for a session in Auderghem? Of course you haven’t.
Woluwe-Saint-Lambert and Woluwe-Saint-Pierre
Literally just the shadow place from the Mufasa quote in The Lion King. That's it, that’s all I’ve got.
Saint-Josse-ten-Noode
A lot going on for such a little place, and I’ll always have a fondness for the Rue Verbist having lived around the corner from it when we first moved to Brussels. Positives? Good pizza, proper Brussels chaos at Place St Josse, beautiful swimming pool. Negatives? One party state, cars as far as the eye can see, air quality is horrendous, and where are the good cafés?!
Berchem-Sainte-Agathe
It’s got a lovely old brewery that’s been turned into an arts centre, and I can always get behind that. The Wilderbos is nice, and the Zavelenberg is even better. There’s Brasserie de la Gare, and I’ve heard the De Kroon cultural centre serves Zinnebir. But I just can’t arouse any strong feeling about the place. It just exists, on a bigger patch of land than I would have given it credit for.
Etterbeek
In the pro column: Autoworld, the small Polish neighbourhood near Parc Cinquantenaire, the CoHop brewery, the VUB. I’m sorry, wait, I’m just getting information that the VUB is in fact in Ixelles, and not in Etterbeek at all. Next thing you’ll be telling me the Etterbeek train station isn’t in the commune either. Stick that in the cons column then, stealing stuff is never cool. At least they have the brewery, and people seem to like the fries on Place Jourdan. Otherwise, just a big stretch of nothing.
Evere
They’ve got the big Decathlon? Good cemeteries? Maybe come back to me when they finally build Metro 3 out to Bordet and I’ll have more to say about the place.
The Basically Fine Communes
Ganshoren
I almost forgot about Ganshoren! If I’d seen Bas Devos’ film about moss in Brussels the commune would probably rank higher. Equally, if I’d made this list during the worst days of the pandemic, Ganshoren might have even sneaked into the top tier. Purely because of the Ganshoren marshes on the western edge of the city. Is it clichéd to call them a green oasis of quiet and peacefulness in a chaotic city? Because that’s what they are. Bumps up from meh to basically fine thanks to the pulling power of the In Den Hemel café, it’s proximity to good cycling routes on the other side of the Flemish border, and the fact that it is home to Brussels’ only (?) Georgian restaurant.
Watermael-Boitsfort
I’ve always had a soft spot for Watermael-Boitsfort. For one, they’ve done the decent thing and combined two smaller districts into one slightly less small municipality - which is more than can be said for some of Brussels’ communes. Any place with a bus terminus called Wiener is good in my books. I recommend everyone should take the 95 at least once to the end of the line. Also, I used to go to a physio in Watermael and he was nice (sorry I ghosted you, Tom), and they have some lovely little garden city estates in the area, which were used in the terrible Belgian film Mr Nobody.
Ixelles
The professional contrarian in me wants to rate this down with the Woluwe’s and Uccle, but I just can’t do it. Ixelles is pretty good, even if it’s a weird shape and it contains within its border the Châtelain neighbourhood. Flagey is alright, I guess, and St Boniface/Place de Londres too, though demerit points for the disappearance of the Stoemelings café. And they’ve got some good restaurants and a bunch of nice bars. Matongé might not be the epicentre of the Afro-Belgian community, but it’s still got more energy than most of the rest of the city. Lacking a brewery though. It’s fine.
Molenbeek-Saint-Jean
The professional contrarian in me also wants to rate Molenbeek higher. Great bakeries, maybe my favourite museum in Brussels in La Fonderie, a pretty good one (especially if you bring the kids) in MIMA, and an underrated one in the museum of migration (which surely deserves to be bigger given Brussels’ history). lots of industrial history in various states of disrepair. The Scheutbos! The ducks at the Karreveld farm. It’s got a 50m swimming pool, a great girls’ football team, and community businesses and initiatives like Replica bookshop and Parckfarm. No more breweries since Brasserie de la Senne moved house, but Duc du Brabant is a proper neighbourhood café. Strong identity and chaotic Brussels vibes. But sometimes a bit too chaotic, and the place does need more help than it’s getting. Would rank higher if Tour & Taxis were on the other side of Rue Picard.
Koekelberg
It’s my home commune, and where Child two was born, so I can’t say too much bad about the place. Would rank near the top if our politicians had pulled their fingers out and managed to renovate the pavilion in Parc Elisabeth and resurrect Bar Eliza in the six years they’ve had to do so. Because if Koekelberg misses anything, then it misses a good pub, somewhere to dump the children outside while you can enjoy a Friday afternoon Zinnebir. For Irish people, imagine Drumcondra without Fagans or Tolka Park. They should probably just dissolve it and divvy the remains up between Molenbeek and Jette. Home to half of the Koekelberg Basilica, which tells you all you need to know about Brussels’ weird boundaries. Good ice cream at Blondeels though, and the park itself - while fraying at the edges - is an essential green lung for a part of Brussels that doesn’t put much store in nature. Good brewery too at Tipsy Tribes. People in charge have big plans for Simonis and the surrounding streets, so come back to me in five (maybe 10) years and I might have something different to say.
Schaerbeek
Again, mixed feelings. Strong attachment to the place because it was the very first commune I lived in when I moved to Brussels in 2009. Back then it was pretty sleepy up around Place Dailly and Parc Josaphat. You can’t say that anymore, though I still giggle at the memory of a local alderman calling it the Williamsburg of Brussels. Now it’s got a great brewery in Brasserie de la Mule, the beer museum is still - I hope - going strong, there’s Train World, the Kriekelaar, Barboteur, Grafik, the Halles, Brusilia, and good kebabs. Extra points for being so big. But, and there is a but, one word knocks Schaarbeek out of the “good communes” category: Carbeek. You’ve not earned your spurs as a Brussels cyclist until you’ve run the gauntlet of the Haachtsesteenweg dodging buses, cars, and broken tram lines.
The Good Communes
Jette
Sometimes I pretend I live in Jette. It’s not hard to do; the border between Koekelberg and Jette runs across our street, a couple of hundred metres from our front door. Like Ganshoren, wins big because of the Laarbeekbos and Parc Baudouin. It’s got a hop farm, a Lambic brewery, Café Excelsior, the original René Magritte museum, the Spiegelplein Sunday market (miss their guanciale), and a Dutch-speaking hospital - which is an underrated trump card. It’s a little quiet, sure, but it is also changing slowly. It’s just nice.
Forest
Did you know that Vorst is home to one of the oldest surviving train station buildings in Belgium? Just a shame that no trains ever stop there anymore. Again, points for the size and diversity of the place, mixing the industrial grime of Vorst Zuid and the Audi factory with the stately villas and green spaces of uptown Forest. Home to one of my favourite rooms in all of Brussels, the former machine hall of the Wielemans brewery that’s now part of the Francophone cultural complex. Also home to the tallest point in Brussels, which is something I suppose, and to a miniature steam railway, which is definitely something. There’s Dekkera too, Le Nelson, and the Perruche. Though they don’t shout about it too much, Forest also has its own brewery in Brasserie Illegaal. But this is all really just window dressing. I like Forest because it’s home to the Stade Marien, and to Union St Gilloise. Take them away and the commune would plummet down this list. Politicians of Forest, consider yourselves warned.
Anderlecht
Would I live in Anderlecht? Yes, absolutely. It’s got a little bit of everything Bruxellois. Plenty of chaos in Cureghem and Clemenceau, and the energy of the Abattoir market. Nostalgic garden city estates with semi-detached dormer bungalows with a garden in the front and back like La Roue. It’s got a - temporary - outdoor swimming pool, and if we all cross our fingers really hard, it might even have a second one soon. It’s got five - five! - breweries, each one doing their own thing, whether it’s historic treasure Cantillon, L’Ermitage’s taproom and wine shop, La Jungle’s schizophrenic interest in English and experimental beers, or the best view of any Brussels brewery on the top floor of Brussels Beer Project’s Port Sud site. It’s got industrial history galore (Brasserie Atlas), and new neighbourhoods whose architectural legacy is still to be determined. There’s the Zenne river above-ground, farm-restaurants like Smala, the park at Ninofsepoort* with the little kiosk bar, the Neerpede valley, and the Vogelzang. Anderlecht feels like - despite a couple of road bumps - like it’s going somewhere. Stadium’s pretty nice too, especially when it’s full of USG fans. And it’s got a buff statue of Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Saint-Gilles
It’s a toss up between Anderlecht and St Gilles to be honest. But I think the rough-edged charm and the sheer breadth of experience on offer on the west bank of the canal trumps St Gilles’ charms. Not unlike Ixelles I want to hate Saint-Gilles. It’s got all the nice restaurants, it’s very far away, and it doesn’t even have a metro (I refuse to acknowledge the “pre-metro” as a thing). But it’s got a great town hall, some fabulous bars - including the OG Moeder Lambic, Dynamo, Verscheuren, Union, and apparently other ones too that aren’t beercentric. It’s got better vibes too than next-door Ixelles, having managed to maintain some of its local character in the face of invading écolo-bobos. And its Lusophone pockets - Forcado, Bocage - give it something different. If I could afford it, and they had a proper metro, I’d probably live here. Even if it’s only got two breweries.
The Best Commune
Brussel-Stad
Truly there could only ever be one winner. If I could have, I never would have moved away from our apartment on Place Jeu de Balles. To live in the most characterful neighbourhood in the centre of the city at a time when I had little material to worry about has surely coloured my view on this part of the city - but it’s my list. I loved the proximity of everything for the couple of years we spent in the Marollen. Cinemas, restaurants, museums, bars, food shops of every description within a short walk. Bars to bate the band, and breweries too - had it been open at the time I would have spent an inordinate amount of time in Café Mazette. It’s the commune that literally has everything - city centre grime between the bourse and the canal. Rolling green hills in the Parc de Laeken. It’s got the Atomium, the other half of Bois de la Cambre, A La Mort Subite, Tour & Taxis, Le Coq, Waterstones, Zinneke Pis, the Kunstberg, the Comic Strip Centre, the Grand Place. It even has my office in it. And of course it has Brasserie de la Senne too. Now, I can already hear the cries that Laken has a different post code and shouldn’t count towards Brussels city’s ranking - but do you elect a different communal council if you live in the 1020 postcode? I didn’t think so.
Whatever the begrudgers might complain about “things being better in the past” on the central boulevards, anyone with any sense in their heads who lived in the city pre-2015 will know that what they’ve done with the pedestrianisation of Anspach and De Brouckere a triumph - and one that, given the political constellation of the city, one that had an almost infinitesimal chance of success. People will quibble about the vibes on the Dansaertstraat not being what they used to be (they’re probably right), but sit outside on the terrace at Les Brasseurs on a Friday night in July and you tell me there are better places to be in Brussels?
The final ranking
Brussel-Stad
Anderlecht
Saint-Gilles
Jette
Forest
Koekelberg
Schaerbeek
Molenbeek-Saint-Jean
Ixelles
Ganshoren
Watermael-Boitsfort
Etterbeek
Berchem-Sainte-Agathe
Saint-Josse-ten-Noode
Evere
Auderghem
Woluwe-Saint-Lambert
Woluwe-Saint-Pierre
Uccle
Miscellaneous Notes
If you don’t like my list, you know what do to (write your own/complain in the comments)!
Brussels politics is satire-proof.
Here’s a link to a great feature on Bas Devos’ film “Here” referenced above. Hoping it comes back into the cinema so I can watch it.
*It has been brought to my attention that the Ninoofsepoort park is in fact in Molenbeek. Every day is a school day.